May 8, 2009
With all the panic about the economy lately, it sure is nice of Mexico to help divert the attention away from our sickly bank accounts with something that could potentially remove the upright, two legged swine from the planet.
The more television I watch or newspapers I read about the subject, it seems like they're just trying to sell more ad space. When the loopy folks that rely on Fox News start trying to understand terms like pandemic, zoonotic, H1N1, people tend to get paranoid and stock up on canned goods, water and shotgun shells to eventually fend off the oinking zombies that are sure to shuffle across the countryside.
The media only recently began calling it the H1N1 influenza because the pork industry was upset and felt like it was getting a double helping of bad publicity. Really? I'm not a pig farmer or nutritionist, but I'm fairly certain that any product that comes from Babe the Pig isn't going to be good for me.
Isn't that part of the deal we have with our curly tailed brethren? We look past the sleeping-in-their-own-poop, and they let us enjoy parts of their body with scrambled eggs and toast.
Is this their version of a P-I-Jihad against the humans for cannibalizing them for centuries? Pigs and jihad. How ironic...who knew Muslims had a legitimate reason for hating ham? They somehow knew around 622 A.D. that the hogs would someday weaponize their flu bug and spread it to the planet via pig farmers. Yeah, when pig's fly...
Wait..pig's flying...swine flu...flew?!?! I knew it!
But seriously, when it comes down to dealing with this sort of scary bogey man media blitz, it's always a pretty safe bet to take a step back and review the situation with a clear head before making any impulsive decisions regarding holing up in a bunker, stocking up on canned goods and waiting for the Miss Piggy epidemic to eradicate a third of the world's population.
Science and rational thought have gotten us through more that a few health issues over the years. Let's trust the doctors and scientists to do their jobs while we remain calm and take appropriate precautionary measures.
Plus, bacon comes from pigs and everyone loves bacon, right? So how bad could this be?